Ok This post is TMI. But I feel compelled to write it because I couldn’t find any answers when nervous/ searching etc.
After my loss a second trimester miscarriage I had been bleeding a lot. Like the heavy day of a period every day for 2 weeks. every couple of days it would taper off for 12 hours or so. Only to start up like a period yet again. With dark burgundy almost black blood. But no odor. It just smelled like blood…. All I could guess was that it was normal as my body healed itself and my hormones ran rampant in my body. Then yesterday morning after cramping all night I passed a clot. Not small either, about the sized of my fist. I felt scared, weak, and sick to my stomach for the better part of the morning. Wondering what my body was doing.. I believe there was a piece of placenta left inside that wouldn’t let go.And that clot was the end of my miscarriage. The bleeding I had been having was minimal and bright red like the normal end of a period. As of today after 2 solid weeks of bleeding, hormones and feeling like crap I am not bleeding anymore.
I feel like a human again. I no longer feel the need to ask my doctor about antidepressants (which one week ago I was going to because I felt out of control).
My heart is still and will always be broken. But I feel so much more in control of my feelings. I have smiled without feeling guilty. I played an April fools day prank on my kids this morning. (A drop of food coloring in their cereal bowl, pour the cereal over it, and when they pour in the milk it, the milk changes colors!). I laughed with them. As of today things are a million times better. Today I have been able to clean with out cramping and feeling sick. I am finally beginning to really heal.
Talking with my elbow in my mouth 