I hate

I hate  running into people that I haven’t seen since before we lost the baby. I hate having to tell people over and over again that he is gone.

I hate that my life is turned upside down again. I had been planning on getting a job when DD#2 started kindy this year.. Then we found out #5 was coming and everything changed. Now I’m back to square one with many months less of planning and looking. And I don’t want to. I don’t want to be around a ton of people I don’t want to talk to, I don’t want to not be home for the older kids, I don’t want to be to tired for them to play on the playground after school. I just want everything to stay how it is right now.

I hate being sad still. I hate not being pregnant, I hate being judgmental, I hate being the way I am right now.

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